It was time for the annual “Pirates and Ninjas in the Park” Toddler Group picnic. Carol had found an on-line tutorial demonstrating how to make a pirate hat, and followed it with “hilarious consequences”. Freddie had his pyjamas on to imitate a ninja – admittedly with a Spongebob Squarepants vibe. But Juliet’s hat was a disaster. With a floral eyepatch and rubber cutlass her daughter was going to be unusual enough; now she would the first pirate to wear a baseball cap with skull and crossbones drawn on in felt tip. But who would argue with a bloodthirsty pirate toddler?