‘Tis the season to be jolly and here I am stuck with some damn fool piece of nonsense about organising a party. I’m the Electronic Bag Lady for God’s sake. Do I look like someone who organises parties? Exactly.
But Kozo asks, so Kozo gets. This month for Bloggers for Peace challenge is:
“How very dare you!” I mutter rebelliously. “EBL doesn’t do parties. And I’m pretty sure peace is a serious business. I mean, you can’t save the world by having fun! Can you?”
If I did organise a party, though, and I’m not saying I will, I’d do it like Kermit, because nothing says “party” like a bunch of crazed puppets and people in furry costumes delivering sparkling repartee and singing. And no one can go all fighty in seriousness when the Muppets are in town. Miss Piggy won’t stand for it.
It’s time to play the music…
OK, let’s get this party started with music that everyone can enjoy. That means either I have to sort out Glastonbury-cum-Proms (Promontory?) or we keep it simple and give everyone a choice between playing a vuvuzela or a triangle. If it’s simple enough for football fans or five year olds, I reckon we can pretty much all participate. Let’s make our own music, yay. Just not karaoke because that makes my ears bleed.
It’s time to light the lights…
Fireworks. Every good party has fireworks.
Or a light show. You know, when they project stuff on public buildings that don’t serve any other useful purpose, like York Minster or Buckingham Palace. We could give everyone sparklers and light sabres to wave around and join in so long as they didn’t run with them and cause accidents. What could possible go wrong?
It’s time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight!
Obviously it would be an honour…
It’s time to put on make-up…
If that’s your thing, wear make-up. Personally I have not worn make-up since I was 14, but in those days I was fond of glitter stars on my face. In my defence it was the Seventies and we were all trying to look like David bowie but limited to what Boots on Staines had to offer. I particularly treasured the look of horror on Aunty Betty’s face when she saw the glitter stars on mine. I would still wear glitter stars on my face any day of the week in a good cause, and this is a good cause.
I suppose Kozo would now gently remind me I need to include Aunty Betty on the guest list too, so if like her you are not fond of glitter stars, there is a marquee over there where you can sit with the other star-challenged people and enjoy yourself. Including Aunty Betty, who can tell you everything you ever want to know about Siamese cats.
It’s time to dress up right…
The dress code is relaxed. Come as you are. Wear something you can have fun in, like feathers or a string vest or a kilt, potentially all three. I believe there may be web sites for that kind of thing but you should definitely be over 18 to look at them.
If you want to wear fancy dress, feel free. But it is not a requirement as not all of us are good at fancy dress or comfortable with it. Wearing clothes that are socially acceptable is difficult enough for some of us.
Wear pyjamas if you like. I don’t care so long as you have a good time and keep your opinions about what I am wearing to yourself.
It’s time to raise the curtain…
Some people enjoy live performances of various arts and skills – singing, dancing, juggling, poetry, fashion, finger painting, knitting…Either way if you want to watch or you want to perform, there is another marquee over there for the Talent Show. If you have skills to share, off you go and good luck! Break a leg. However, see previous rules regarding karaoke.
On the Muppet Show tonight!
Oh yes, if you do participate in the Talent Show, please be aware the judges are Messrs Waldorf and Statler. They can be a little picky. Just remember, it’s all for a good cause.
It’s time to get things started…
Right I think that’s everything. The catering is being picked up by the International Committee of the Red Croissant so I am sure we will all be looking forward to the buffet later. We will be catering for the full range of dietary restrictions, so if you can’t spot something you can eat please speak to one of the catering staff.
The main restaurant area will of course be managed by Alice; because you can get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant. You all remember Alice.
The catering staff are all on short shifts so they can join in too. You may be asked to fill a slot. You will agree. It’s only fair we all take turns; in fact that is a key element of this party.
It’s going to be the most sensational inspirational celebrational muppetational event – this is what we’ll call the “Let’s Make World Peace” Show!
I thank you very much. I’m here all week.
Oh, and one last thing – you can sing along here. You know you want to. Cue VT.
And if you fancy a different sort of party for peace, then you might try these ideas here: