One of the things I try hard to stop myself doing, and fail miserably to achieve, is getting wound up over silly little things. Life is really to short to worry about the fact that the books in Waterstones are not shelved alphabetically, or that some nincompoop newsreader doesn’t know the difference between a mountain and a molehill, or that the well-meaning buffoon next door (WMBND) has never actually played Dungeons and Dragons but thinks they are an expert on it because their younger cousin’s best friend’s boyfriend once borrowed a copy of the Dungeon Master’s Guide from his next door neighbour.

I have played Dungeons and Dragons.

I’ll have you know my Illusionist was quite exceptional.

And don’t let me get me started on my amazing Ranger.

Although the incident with the wolf cubs eating our Paladin was a little embarrassing….

Anyway, picture the scene. There you are trying to coordinate a day of sparkling entertainment, and you have been asked specifically to set up and run a game of Dungeons and Dragons for old times’ sake. You dust off the DM’s Guide, break out the Monster Manual and unearth the Deities and Demigods. You spend a nostalgic weekend prepping a dungeon, supplying back-stories for all the orcs and goblins, setting intricate traps and hiding treasure. You plan out complex tricks and puzzles to stimulate your players. You order in snacks and drinks. You sharpen pencils, dust the dice and produce copies of character sheets.

The team gathers and cracks their collective knuckles in anticipation of a great session. The air is electric with anticipation.

Then the WMBND arrives with a draughts board and disrupts the party.

How does that make you feel?

That’s how I feel when someone utters the dreaded phrase β€œOh, I know how to fix that database error! It’s simple. ”

Just saying.



11 thoughts on “Peeve

  1. You know, I have never played D&D. I would love to just watch a game (round? inning?) once just to say that I kind of know second hand how to play. Maybe. πŸ˜‰

    • It was a total addiction in my younger days and I would still love to play if I could. We tended to play as a series of puzzles with some combat – a bit like Final Fantasy. Other people focus more on role play or on strategy or on stats. Something for everyone πŸ™‚

  2. Oh too true, too true. The “I Know How to Fix That, It’s Simple Syndrome.” If someone utters that phrase, I won’t let them near what-ever-it-is-I-need-help-with. I am actually pretty good at solving computer hardware and software problems. (I’m not necessarily so good at fixing other stuff.) My response is, “Let me take a look and see if I can figure it out. If I can’t, I’ll tell you to call a professional.” That translates into “Do not try to meddle beyond your known capabilities on someone else’s stuff!!!!!” Period. End. And just for extra measure, DO NOT.

  3. These stories do not have ends. We hear about or imagine the feelings of the narrator, but what does he/ she do next? And what does the WMBND do next? Please tell us. Or do the feelings stop the story?

  4. Pingback: Well Meaning Buffoon Next Door | Electronicbaglady's Bag of Bits

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