I have not been writing so much lately and I am not about to make excuses. I did that in another post recently so that’s all the excusifying you will be getting from me.
I wanted to write, though. I still do. But I have a Thing in the way, a Monster under the keyboard, an air bubble blocking the free flow of water through my pipes. I will be draining my radiators in due course, and will tell you how it all turns out then, but in the meantime I just need to sit in a corner for a bit and grumble through the dark reaches of the night.
It’s generational I suspect. No matter that I have worked in IT, woman and girl, a quarter century or more under the silicon. No matter that before there was a web I was using bulletin boards to send messages to people around the world, hopping from server to server. No matter that in the human realm I enjoy holding forth and listening to the sound of my own voice. No matter that at times words issue forth like the flood that floated the Ark, although hopefully without drowning unicorns.
No matter, I say, that any of those things are true, and potentially even relevant. This old lady simply does not share on-line all the potential stumbles ahead. I don’t ask you to help me figure out what to do, although I may happily bore you death once it is all done. Anyway, I know what to do; I’m just waiting for it to be done.
I’m not trying to be mysterious – but the Block Monster did make me realise that so many of you share so much by publishing your blogs. I don’t. There’s nothing I write here I wouldn’t happily read out at work or in the pub. I assume it will all end up one day in the HR department being checked for subversiveness, or in the village newsletter for people to gossip about. So I stick to the past – what has been and can be reported – not the future, despite the fact that most of my time I worry about the future and what may be. Naturally I live very little in the present, because I am poor at mindfulness, but I am working on that and trying to extend my visits.
In addition to being elderly, I prefer to work things out in my head, not with people. I don’t do human very well. I am anti-social. My idea of a brilliant day is to spend it alone, reading, knitting, writing, practising calligraphy or music, or learning to crochet. If I want to push the boat out, I will watch a film. I have no idea why I like to write or publish to a blog, I just can’t help it.
Still, I managed to write something, so I’ll blow a raspberry at the Word-Eating Monster, and hope to resume normal service in due course. Probably about a month in fact.
Do you share or conceal or deflect? Do problems free you up to write more, or befuddle your fingers and tie up your tongue? And yes, I do realise that by definition not everyone will be able or willing to answer that.
Good to hear from you EBL. I’m still green at the blogging thing, and am carried along by the novelty of it all. I haven’t yet encountered the block.
I’m a lot like you in that I prefer my own company, mostly. I do enjoy correspondence, however with several people and that is my approach to blogging. i.e. I spew and spill and within reason, foist my guts upon my readers in order to explain and solve problems.
Glad to have you along for the ride!
I share on here so I won’t have to in real life. If that makes any sense.
Right now I am frustrated because I need to write and work through things, but work is so slammed and I barely have time to read much less write anymore.
Grr! Get back in balance, cosmos! It’s dreadful when things spin out of control. Hope it settles down soon, one way or another. Hugs x
Very nice writeup!
Wish to take the liberty of sharing this post with you:
I am particularly impressed with the amount of tea that may need to be involved for ideal armchair blogging! That’s the life 🙂
What a shame reality intervenes
Many thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts
I prefer anti-sociable rather than anti-social with its negative connotations. I’m sure you’re the former, if either.
How kind – let’s assume you’re right 🙂
Love your wanderings and meanderings. I also love your word gymnastics. As for being anti-social or anti-sociable, I much prefer my own company. The best days are those spent in a sunbeam doing what I want, whether it be blogging, writing my next novel, or simply taking a nap 😉 To me, that will always be life at its fullest.
Thank you kindly. Like you, I am grateful for days filled with simple pleasures in my own company 🙂